He said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear briefs, don't you?

He said: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said: Well, you succeeded.

He said: Two inches more, and I would be king.
She said: Two inches less, and you'd be queen.

On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it: "I do not!"

He said: "Shall we exchange positions tonight?"
She said: "That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."

He said: "How about a quickie?"
She said: "As opposed to what?"

Priest said: I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.
She said: Who's gonna look?

He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said: Let's go out and have some fun tonight;.
She said: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

He said: Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said: I would, but you're never there.