"Ma'am?" the clerk replied, a bit confused.

"Where is my Sunday paper!?!" she repeated, even louder than the first time. "I only get one paper a week from you cretins, because it takes me that long to read it! And it's not here! Can't you idiots do anything right?!"

"Ma'am", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow - on Sunday."

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition.

"Well, hell," she said, her voice finally calm. "So that's why no one was at church today."